Ok not that serious. So, I met a guy online and we will call him Joey. So Joey was all about me when we first met, he always wanted to hang out with me. I used to go over to his house almost every day, more like every other day. But he used to text me all day long and send me Good Morning texts (all girls know how special those are). So the first incident I ran into with this guy was that he had woman products in him bathroom. I asked him about it bc I didn’t want to be seeing someone who had a girlfriend and most certainly not someone who is married. He said he had gone through a recent break up and that his ex moved out of state and wasn’t able to take all of her stuff with her and that he hadn’t taken the time to clean out his apartment. I let it pass bc I refuse to judge someone based on their past, so I trusted him when he told me it was over and we moved on…. 8 months later!!!! Here I am trying to put the pieces of my heart back together.
What went wrong?
Idk… or maybe I do know. According to him it was my expectations. EXPECTATIONS. I had to look that one up and decided that that is what people say when your standards are too high for them to reach. But I am so honest and real that I believe in transparency all the way through. I was wrong to expect the same from someone I bearly knew.
To sum it all up, he didn’t like me as much as I thought. Which is ok. But he didn’t let me know and he kept seeing me (for his own selfish needs). I do NOT know why he didn’t let me leave when I tried (again, selfish). So after all of this time of seeing each other and hooking up I let him know that felt something for him (not afraid to say so). Then he was like Whoa there, you’re not the only one that’s trying to be the only one. Ok he didn’t really say that but I stole it from Drake bc that’s basically it. Mind that if I would’ve known he was still dealing with any of his ex girlfriends I would have left no questions asked! But HE DIDNT! He told me that any girls he had messed with were just side girls to me or “one night stands”. LMAO. That was when I realized that we had hit the lowest point. And we weren’t even in a relationship lol. So I did some social media stalking, guuuuurl (or guy) don’t judge bc you’ve done it too! Lol and I’m not afraid to admit that I got soooo deep into it that I found out more about this guy than I did within the span of our whole relationship (or situationship… whatever). Found his ex and his other ex and their ex an some other exes. Omg the glory! I know it was only a matter of time before everything deteriorated before my lovely green eyes.
So, as shady shit transpired I kept finding out that this guy was still involved with his ex girlfriends. One of them is a rapper (lol) so she was super public about her stuff including her problems. She would post about him all the time when they were fighting and what not so I always knew what was happening between them. But the thing that really pissed me off was that this guy took me to a concert once and we met up with his friend and his friends girlfriend. She was his other ex girlfriends best friend!!! WTF… I know WTF. & I would’ve never known if it wasn’t bc of my stalking skills and my smarts bc he didn’t let me know. What an asshole, foreal. He was also still liking her selfies on instagram at that time. I was embarrassed when I found out to say the least. I just looked like a rebound bitch. Ugh. But anyways, fuck that guy. I hope he doesn’t contact me again bc I will not answer and I will make him feel so bad about himself that he will be forced to change his ways. I know it’s only a matter of time until he starts missing me because I am beautiful inside and out. Little did he know I was the one still giving him a chance to get his act together. I know what I have to offer and he ultimately didn’t deserve me. I can see clearly now and I’m at peace with the fact that everything happens for a reason!
Moral of the story: You can be so blinded by infatuation and vulnerability can have a lot to do with that. Even though you know you’re in a situation you don’t belong in, you see the good in everyone and that’s what keeps you hoping it will get better. It’s a never ending cycle you must end, only you can do it because nobody else is looking out for your best interest. Some people are only there to fulfill themselves. Don’t let that fool you, we weren’t all raised the same and some people won’t change because it’s who they are (it’s not an act). Actions always speak louder than words at day, pay attention to that! What helped me was knowing that he didn’t deserve me and taking it upon myself to decide to never see him again. Yes, NEVER again. I know that’s hard but it got rid of the possibility that he could hurt me or lie to me again. That’s the mentality I adapted and I couldn’t be more comfortable with the decision I have made.
Don’t worry lol I still believe in love and all things that are beautiful in a relationship. He was just the wrong guy. He has not made me lose hope and he does not represent men. Maybe a certain type of man, but not all. I rest my case by saying that I won bc in the end I am the prize and guess who I still have? ME! And whoever is lucky enough to have me will know how to act.
Toodles babes xo (whoever reads this, ily so much) lol 💝